June2019 pic resizedHey there—so much has changed in the past year—a few colleagues lost, change in my family, of course—who doesn’t relate to that? Many interns and kid milestones—forever grateful for mentoring my crew in St. Pete, FL.
I also have been grieving like so many others…the loss of Anthony Bourdain this past year.
Bourdain was the triangle of culinary expert, travel with the locals and authenticity in one package. It’s been one year.
If you can relate how have you coped with it? For me I read 3 of his books again—not the fiction ones, but the ones he related to chefs and kitchen staff. Kitchen Confidential is for anyone who has ever worked in a professional kitchen—it’s what started his ‘glam career’. I am so glad I re-read it—slower this time—I read more than one sentence about suicide in his books.
After a few deep breaths, I was ready to watch his food/travel shows again. There were a few episodes in the months leading up to June 2018 that made me tear up--- Fast forward to June 2019:
This week started the 1st week for summer ‘vacation’ for my kids. I still run a business and meet clients and prepare meals for a few of them. I decided to have my 10-year-old assist as my sous chef one afternoon. I had low expectations for him, which is always good. He went above and beyond-he showed up for knife skills, met unmerited tasks that needed to be done; he also asked more questions about what we do in the office. We were in the kitchen for 3 hours; as we were wrapping up, a client came in to see Dr. Quinlan.
My partner is a clinical psychologist. We see mutual clients and our own. Some people think they only ‘need’ a meal plan from me. Some only think they need therapy, but lack the food planning skills. After many questions from my son about what a psychologist does—since he saw a client in our lobby---I was unprepared to explain to a child what a PsyD does. I did my best.
We cleaned up, left the office and stopped again at the grocery store to pick up ingredients for the next client. While we are loading up the car, I am asked, “are they done talking yet?” “Who?, I ask”. “The person at your office.” “Oh, what time is it? 10 after the hour? Yes, most of the time it is one hour for a session. “
A few hours later after dinner my son makes microwave popcorn for himself before watching a movie. I catch him licking the ‘butter’ lining in the bag of popcorn. I call him out on it— “you have bright yellow all over your face and you are licking a bag.” From Seth---” I need to see Quinlan about this.”
It was funny but at the same time a reminder to call ourselves out when we need to talk to someone about “anything out of the ordinary” in our lives. There is no shame in that---and it should be the norm. I often ask my kids, “what’s going on with you right now?” They know what I mean. I want to know the core, not the surface.
When someone asks you, “what is going on with you?” Please answer them with honesty—and refer to a professional when necessary who can clear up that clutter in the mind. Our expertise is found here:
https://www.healthylifestylestampabay.com/ for a free consultation.